How to Make Effective Conversations - Proverbs 25

Proverbs 25 teaches us how to make effective conversations - conversations that discover the truth, change behavior and bring harmony.  See the details: (The Bible verses are from ESV unless otherwise indicated)

Effective Conversations:

The Summary Mind-map:

The Full Text:
- Authorship - Solomon
  • - Pro 25:1 These also are proverbs of Solomon which the men of Hezekiah king of Judah copied.
- 1 Discover Hidden Truth - The 1st Step of Conversation
  • - The Heart of Man is most Difficult to know
    • - Pro 25:3 As the heavens for height, and the earth for depth, so the heart of kings is unsearchable.

      • The higher their positions, the more difficult it is for us to know their hearts' intentions.
    • - God hides & Man Discovers - This is Story/Purpose of Science
      • - Pro 25:2 It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.

  • - Divide to Understand - Go Below the Surface
    • - Pro 25:4 Take away the dross from the silver, and the smith has material for a vessel;

      To discover the truth, we need to filter out the noises, excuses, blames, and the smoke screens thrown at you.
  • - Remove Evil Discovered
    • - Pro 25:5 take away the wicked from the presence of the king, and his throne will be established in righteousness.

    • Now that you discover the evils, you must take steps to remove them so that the good ones can flourish. 
- 2 Not to Show-off - Don't Think You are that Important
  • - Pro 25:6 Do not put yourself forward in the king's presence or stand in the place of the great,
  • - Pro 25:7 for it is better to be told, “Come up here,” than to be put lower in the presence of a noble.

  • Don't talk down to people. Don't praise yourself and be contradicted by others. Better for others to praise you.
- 3 Litigation - Don't Be Hasty -Talk to Person Involved 1st
  • - Pro 25:8 What your eyes have seen do not hastily bring into court, for what will you do in the end, when your neighbor puts you to shame?There is more than what you have seen.
    • - It is risky business to accuse others publicly in court.
      • - Selwin, of London: “A man who deliberates about going to law should have,
        • 1. A good cause;
        • 2. A good purse;
        • 3. A good skillful attorney;
        • 4. Good evidence;
        • 5. Good able counsel;
        • 6. A good upright judge;
        • 7. A good intelligent jury; and with all these on his side, if he have not,
        • 8. Good luck, it is odds but he miscarries in his suit.” O the glorious uncertainty of the law!
      • - Pro 25:9 - [ISV]Instead, take up the matter with your neighbor and don't betray another person's confidence.Always talk to the person involved to get the truth. Don't betray in order to win. The best is not go into litigation and be forced to.
          • The warning would seem to be against being betrayed by a litigious spirit into dishonourable conduct, and incurring the indelible shame of betraying confidence through eagerness to win your suit.
          • if you know anything scandalous and reproachful of your neighbour and his family, you are contending with, which does not concern the cause in hand, do not divulge it, as persons from a spirit of revenge are apt to do, when they are quarrelling or litigating a point with each other.
      • - Pro 25:10 lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your ill repute have no end.
      - 4 Fit the Occasion - Be Sensitive
      • - Pro 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.
      • - Pro 25:20 Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda.
        • - 5 Earn the Rights to SpeakGain the trust - listen to show care
          • - Gain a Listening Ears 1st that your advice may be accepted.
            • - Pro 25:12 Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear.
                • Gain the trust first v13
          • - Trustworthy Words
            • - Pro 25:13 Like the cold of snow in the time of harvest is a faithful messenger to those who send him; he refreshes the soul of his masters.
        6 Content
        • - Truthful Words
          • - Truthful - No Boasting
            • - Pro 25:14 Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of a gift he does not give.
          • - Lie not
            • - Pro 25:18 A man who bears false witness against his neighbor is like a war club, or a sword, or a sharp arrow.
        • - Few good words - Not Long message
          • - Pro 25:16 If you have found honey, eat only enough for you, lest you have your fill of it and vomit it.
        • - Good News
          • - Pro 25:25 Like cold water to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country.
        7 Manner: Softly & patiently
        • - Pro 25:15 With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone.
        8 Avoiding
        • - Interfere Not
          • - Pro 25:17 Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor's house, lest he have his fill of you and hate you.
        • - Believe Not Treacherous Man - There are people out there to give fake evidence
          • - Pro 25:19 Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips.
        • - Bad-mouthing Not
          • - Pro 25:23 The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.
        • - Quarrels Not
          • - Pro 25:24 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
        • - Compromise Not - Stick to Righteousness
          • - Pro 25:26 Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked.
        9 Attitudes
        • - Love
          • - Pro 25:21 If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink,
          • - Pro 25:22 for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.
            (note: burning coals are put on containers and then on the head to keep people warm during winter time).
        • - Humility - No self-glorification
          • - Pro 25:27 It is not good to eat much honey,
            Don't overdo
            • nor is it glorious to seek one's own glory.
              Don't do it for selfish reasons.
        • - Self Control
          • - Pro 25:28 A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.
            • be gentle v15
            • be concise v16
            • be loving v21
            • be humble v27
            • not overdo v27
        Lim Liat (c) 28-6-17

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