Most of us try to change others by 'lecturing' or 'nagging' which usually ends in a quarrel and defeat the original intention. The Bible in 2Tim 2:14-26 shows us a better way. The ways are establishing your good testimony, then the show of love, follow by discovery of the lies and truth and patient. The love and the testimony trigger a reflection in the others' heart and a willingness to change.Quarrels Change Nothing but Bring Harms
2Ti 2:14 ... charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers.
When we quarrel, we are both hearers and speakers. Quarrels just spoil the relationships and making any further discussions and changes impossible.
A Good Testimony First
2Ti 2:15 Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. ....
2:19 ... “Let everyone who names the name of the Lord depart from iniquity.”
2:22 So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
Before we intent to correct another, we must make sure ourselves are approved by God and others can see that. We need to earn the right to speak and be heard first by our testimony of good work and behavior. That is the necessary foundation step but it is still insufficient.
Add in Love
2Ti 2:24-26 And the Lord's servant
- must not be quarrelsome --- do not lecture nor nag.
- but kind to everyone, --- be loving and kind.
- able to teach, --- have the wisdom and knowledge to guide others.
- patiently enduring evil, --- be willing to go through the tough times in councilling.
- correcting his opponents with gentleness. --- always with gentleness and not judging nor condemning.
- God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, --- it takes time for them to reflect and be touched by the Holy Spirit.
- and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. --- The Success - Freedom from the enslavement.
They are trapped and deceived by the devil in believing in the wrong things - the lies. Only when they see the truth that they may change and be free.
- Be upright yourself and live a good testimony earning the respect from others.
- Have the wisdom to show what's wrong and point out the right ways.
Discovering the lies and the truth.
- Be loving, kind and gentle towards the other person.
- Be patient and be ready for a long run in some cases.