Kindness 1st then Truth 2nd - Grace & Truth in Right Order

Pro 3:3 NASB Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart.

Truth must be Package in Grace.
It is all too easy to point out the errors in others. But if our intention is to help, it must be done out of love. Correction without love and kindness only strengthens the bad behavior and defeat the objective of the correction. This is because a truth could expose our faults and weaknesses. Hence truth must be packaged in grace. Or, grace comes first before truth.

The recipient must first recognize that you are for him before he can receive any word from you. Hence, it is always relationship and trust first before any correction.

See also Tough Decision Making - Loyalty vs Righteousness

Be Selective
We must be wise in selecting the persons to whom we share.

Not all people want to know the truth or are willing to learn.

Pro 9:7-9 GW (7) Whoever corrects a mocker receives abuse. Whoever warns a wicked person gets hurt. (8) Do not warn a mocker, or he will hate you. Warn a wise person, and he will love you. (9) Give advice to a wise person, and he will become even wiser. Teach a righteous person, and he will learn more.

Earn the Rights to Speak and be listened to

Why should anyone want to listen to us?

We may think the truths we want to tell, such a the Gospel of Jesus, is very important and valuable. But our audience usually does not share our enthusiasm nor believe in what we want to say. If he did not ask us and we just speak, then he will find out irritating and shut his ears off. He may not be so rude as to tell us off but he will surely close his ears. Then we lose the purpose of our telling.

The best way is to get him to be so interested to ask us. How can we do that? 

The answer is to show love and concern first. We observe and see if there be any help that we could offer him. We need to show love to earn the trust that what we want to say is beneficial to him.

Another way is to ask for help like Jesus did in the story of the woman at the well. Asking for help show our vulnerability and trigger the love in the other person. 

The Chinese way starts with establishing a relationship. A relationship is built through the heart and not the mind. So our speeches must start with touching the heart, then reason with the mind, and then draw out the plan for execution. Storytelling that touches the heart is always more effective than a scientific presentation of facts.

So it is always Grace first to gain the heart and then the Truth. Truth is hard and must be packaged with the softness of Grace.

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